Where I Long To Be and Why I’m Not Ready To Settle Down

The tallest piece of rock I have ever jumped off in my life and it's for sure that I will never be doing anything that high again.

I'm 23 and Josh is 27, we bought our first property last year where we currently live with my Gran and we had hoped to be looking at buying our own place in the very near future. However, since I returned from Santorini I've had butterflies in my stomach. Not because I want to return to the beautiful idyllic island but because I realised how much there is out there that I want to see for myself. I'm not sure I want to settle down right now and this is a conversation we keep going over and over, back and forth. I get it, he wants a sense of security, our own space, somewhere that's ours but with that comes a hell of a lot of responsibility, bills, cut backs, less of a social life and I guess some would call it 'the real world'. I have endless conversations with people at work and they tell me just to go travelling but of course you need money for that and if we ever returned (not that I'd plan on it), we'd be in the same position we are in now so would it really be worthwhile going? The idea of travelling and buying a house plays on my mind constantly. One day I can't wait to have my own space, an actual wardrobe, my very own pet dog, cooking dinner for friends etc. etc. and then the next day all I can think about is driving around on a motorbike with salty hair, eating street food, stroking stray dogs, not worrying about what time you have to get up for work because you need money so desperately to have a life but just having enough money to get by and live. I feel as though there is SO much pressure on us "kids" to settle down, get married, start a family, have a proper job and know what you want in life. The world has changed in so many ways, everything is so much more accessible and you could argue that's a bad thing but it makes that traditional mind set of settling down so hard to just accept. I'm sick of having to work to earn just enough to cover a roof over my head, to only go away and see the world once or twice a year. Why this is the norm I have no idea! Life isn't about making as much money as you can and coming home to watch Emmerdale. It's about so much more and I'm so ready to pack my bags and leave this way of life behind - just need enough money first, lol. The only thing that scares me about ever emigrating would be that I could never afford to return home to see my Gran. Sorry for the rant but I've had it playing on my mind for f*cking ages and I'd really appreciate your views on this situation or any interesting stories, regrets, bad/good decisions.... Lots of love, L.

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